Holding onto Time: How Our Family Holiday Traditions Have Evolved
As soon as we pack away the Halloween decorations, it seems the Christmas season begins creeping in. If I’m honest, it sometimes starts even earlier for me—around September—when the first hint of festive planning starts to take shape in my mind. But rather than let it become overwhelming, I take it in manageable pieces. For me, the first step is always a conversation with the family about what matters most to them during this year’s holidays.
We have a lot of traditions, and we just can’t do them all. Over the years, I’ve learned that trying to fit everything in can lead to exhaustion rather than joy. So, I focus on the moments that mean the most—the traditions that spark excitement and connection—and I give myself permission to let go of the rest. At least that’s the hope. It’s an approach that’s made the season feel more intentional, and far less like a to-do list wrapped in tinsel.
Traditions That Grow with the Family
As the kids get older, many of our holiday traditions remain the same, but others have evolved. The excitement of writing letters to Santa or baking dozens of Christmas cookies may have shifted, but the heart of the season—spending time together—remains unchanged.
With all of our family birthdays falling within a month of Christmas, the end of the year and the beginning of the new one, can feel like a whirlwind of celebrations. It’s a fun but tricky balance—finding ways to make birthdays and Christmas each feel special, without one overshadowing the other. Because of that, our family’s Christmas giving has become more about experiences rather than things.
Some years, we’ve taken on a crafting challenge and made gifts for one another—everything from 3D printed figurines to handmade boxes. Other years, we’ve drawn names and exchanged something funny, like a quirky Christmas sweater. But more often than not, we look for something we can do together.
From Seasons Passes to Surprise Days
When the kids were younger, that often meant choosing a couple of places we loved to visit and buying a seasons pass—to a museum, WildPlay, or the local recreation centre. It was a way to stretch the fun throughout the year, giving us little adventures to look forward to long after the tree came down.
One of my favourite ideas was alternating months, so each family member planned a Surprise Day for everyone else. The person planning got to choose what we did, but kept it secret until the day arrived. Sometimes it was a simple afternoon at a new park or a hike followed by ice cream; other times it was something a bit more elaborate.
Those Surprise Days quickly became one of our most loved family traditions. It gave everyone—from the youngest to the oldest—a chance to take the lead and think about what would make the others happy. It also reminded us that the best gifts often have nothing to do with what’s under the tree, and everything to do with the time we give one another.
Gifting Through Travel
As our children have grown, and our time together feels shorter with school, work, and friends all pulling in different directions, travel has become one of our most treasured ways to reconnect. It’s our version of pressing pause—our “time out of time.”
Without the constant hum of daily obligations, we find space to slow down, talk, laugh, and try new things together. Whether it’s a weekend road trip to somewhere nearby or a long-awaited family holiday, travel gives us a shared experience that lingers long after the suitcases are unpacked.
When we’re planning a big holiday during the year, we often let that become our family holiday gift. Each of us chooses a place or activity we’re excited to visit, and those become our “presents” to one another. It might be a boat trip, snorkelling in the ocean, visiting a local site or museum, or exploring a specific place. Last year, we celebrated a number of milestone birthdays, a 50th wedding anniversary, and visited a spot on the grandparents’ bucket list – Waterton Lakes National Park – a place the grandparents had always wanted to share with the grandkids. Instead of gifts, many of these special events were celebrated with travel —whether it was a weekend away somewhere nearby or a road trip.
Looking back, it’s those shared experiences that truly stand out. The laughter, the small moments, the unexpected detours-that’s where the real memories live.
The Unplanned Magic
When I ask my kids what they remember most from our holidays—near or far—it’s almost never the big sights or the expensive attractions. Their favourite memories are the unplanned, funny things that happen along the way. Like the time we went in search of food after arriving late one night, and were all startled in the dark by the sounds of the goats in the nearby field (I promise they didn’t sound like goats), or searching through the grocery stores in Paris to bring home our favourite chocolate – Tony’s Chocolonely (thankfully we can now buy it in Canada).
Of course, a lot of those memories involve food (that’s just how we roll), but it’s never really about what we were eating. It’s about how we felt in that moment-connected, content, and present (even though a small child screamed the whole time we were in Amorino getting our beautiful flower gelato, but that is a story that Jack tells best).
Those spontaneous moments remind me that we don’t need to chase perfect holidays. What our family values most are the shared experiences that unfold naturally when we give ourselves the time and space to simply be together.
This Year’s Intention
So, as I start to think about this year’s Christmas—once the last of the Halloween sweets are gone and the boxes of decorations make their way out of storage—I’m approaching it with the same mindset: focus on what matters most. We’ll still decorate, melt chocolate for pretzels, and watch our favourite holiday movies, but I’ll continue to look for ways to simplify, to create space for laughter and connection.
Tips for Simplifying the Season
If you’re also looking to slow things down this year and make the holidays feel more meaningful, here are a few ideas that have worked for us:
- Start with a family chat: Ask everyone what they love most about the holidays, and focus your time and energy on those things.
- Let go of “shoulds”: You don’t have to do every tradition every year. Give yourself permission to skip the ones that don’t bring joy.
- Choose time together: Plan a shared activity, a day trip, or even a family challenge instead of buying gifts that might not last.
- Create space for surprises: Let each family member plan one fun activity during the holidays—it keeps things fresh and gives everyone ownership.
- Capture the memories: Take photos, write notes, or keep a small family journal of your adventures. It’s amazing how meaningful it becomes to look back.
Holding onto What Matters
As life gets busier and our kids grow older, our family time feels increasingly precious. That’s why I love the shared moments—whether they happen during a trip or in the middle of an unplanned day. This season, my goal isn’t to make everything perfect. It’s to be present, to notice the laughter, and to enjoy our time making memories that will last long after the wrapping paper is gone. Because at the end of the day, the greatest gift we can give one another is our time.
What are your family’s favourite holiday traditions?